This blog means a lot to mean. Sure, I don’t post frequently and when I do, my words are jumbled and awkward sounding but I do care for this blog immensely.
I like the feel of the keyboard under my fingertips. Every push creates another word that expresses my thoughts that I want to share. I like that doing this doesn’t create a mess that erasers and pencils create. It’s also nice to express my thoughts and views to people. Sure, not many see this, but I want to put my two cents out there you know?
One day, a close friend of mine asked me,”Why do you want to show this to strangers but not me?”
Its different somehow. I like that people online don’t know who I can truly be and who I am. To me, people in real life are so much crueler than online. With a single click, you can ignore someone’s comment that you didn’t particularly like. If that happens in real life, that moment remains forever. It’s stuck in your head for what seems like forever and it can ruin so many amazing things like friendship. Online, it feels so much safer. You don’t know them. Sure, maybe you talked and all but it’s different in real life. They can pretend who they aren’t. Become more confident, depressed, happy, anything really.
Yes, she is a close friend but I am a pretty shelled person. I don’t like to talk about my feelings with others. It makes me feel awkward and I feel like I’m forcing others to help me. I’m happy to help but please, helping me will be something you might regret. I can be angry, resentful, mean, annoying and all the negative things in life, so why waste your time on me? I know the flaws I have, so there really isn’t a point to try to help me in the things I know about already.
Blogging makes me open up to myself. It makes me realize everything I have done. All my achievements and downfalls, the good and bad moments. Blogging helps me overcome emotions and write what I feel. There are posts when I don’t feel the greatest at that moment and when I look back at that, I smile and think,”I surpass that.” Sure, many not-so-great moments will happen in the future, but when I will blog about it, I’ll look back in the future and hopefully think, “Challenge, passed.”