He said he was going to wake me up. He said it but never did. So my farewell to him was the worst.
I slept the night thinking that I could say a proper goodbye in the morning. Not the lame hug I gave while saying,” Work hard.”
I’m pretty sure that those were the few words I last gave to him. Now I won’t see him until a full year. That Monday wasn’t all that bad. My studies and friends kept my mind occupied from the loneliness of seeing one brother now. I didn’t think about him until him I got into my car. My mom was inside sniffling with red eyes looking at her phone. I didn’t ask her why, I already knew but she told me anyways. “He texted me and said he’s on the plane now.”
It took a few seconds for that to process in my mind. Plane. Plane meant leaving. It meant leaving us behind and going to boot camp. That’s when I finally cried. I cried in my car while we were driving home. It wasn’t a great feeling. Honestly, I rather not even think about the impeding loneliness the house would feel. Our Papa already left overseas and grandma would soon be returning to the Philipines. That would mean there’s only three of us here in a two story house. Loneliness. I don’t like this feeling.
I don’t like to see his room empty. There’s nothing on his shelf and tables anymore. All the trash and hats he had was all either stored away or thrown out. His closet is still full though because he isn’t allowed to bring clothes there.
This feeling isn’t nice at all but I guess I have to live with it. I still have my mom and my brother. I have my friends and cousins. It isn’t all that lonely but sometimes when I’m alone I start tearing up.
I really miss you Kuya. Stay safe. Make friends and work hard for your dream. I will be looking foreward to that day when you come back all accomplished. Come back soon. I love you.
Yesterday, my papa left for work once again. On Sunday, my Kuya will leave for Navy boot camp.
The men are leaving the house this month leaving my little brother as the new man of the house. He isn’t that young, just a year younger, but that takes a lot of responsibility and maturity. I know that there were younger kids that had to become the man of the house, my Kuya was one of them him being only eight, but my little brother? The manly man of the house? The guy that has to stereotypically help us females?
I don’t know if he’s fully prepared for the duties of this job but I can hope that in the future, he’s doing quite well of it.
I have have been trying to do my Biology cover for 30 minutes which ended up as complete fail. None of the the pictures are straight, the tape is bumpy and not smooth and I lost three other pictures I printed. D.I.Y is just not for me guys.
Do they remember that I am a human? A human with flaws and emotions? Do they remember that I can be forgetful too even though I’m still at my youth? Do you even know that I can get sad and feel all alone? Do you know that I’m insecure with my physical appearance and also my intelligence?
Do you know me? Who am I too you? Ugly? Pretty? Not even a thought about me?
They think they are secretive but really, why should I care? The answer is because I’m human and as a human I have all these emotions to share.
I don’t know you but I would like to say these things to you. We don’t know each other to judge for the feelings we have, for the actions we do. So don’t judge me because I am a human, just like you.
Guys, I’m scared. I went into my brother’s room which I am temporarily sharing and discovered something. Actually more like somethings. There were tons of small black ants crawling along his wooden desk and it’s just ew. I can’t stand ants. It’s okay if it’s one but hundreds of those tiny annoying critters?
Let me just call 911.
For those of you who went to Kcon, you better had the most amazing time of your life. Tons of fans including me would love to go there! Even though I haven’t listen to all the artist’s songs, I still want to go! Meet other fans, get merchandise and scream my voice out. It’s sounds so much fun!
“Devil” by Super Junior was performaned on Saturday! I’m so sad…That song is my jam and I would love to listen to it live, with them in front of me! My heart breaks every time guys.
This post is kind of late since Kcon happened during the weekend but high school has proven to be more time consuming as I thought especially since I’m in marching band. Hopefully, I could post more!